Rebecca Vernon: Guitar, vox
Sarah Pendleton: Violin, vox
Leena Rinne: Bass
Bonie Shupe: Drums
Special Guest, Bill Frost: Guitar
It’s 1:09 AM in the morning on a Monday/Tuesday. I’m pretty wasted and I’m watching my favorite show, Cops. I think to myself how blatantly racist this show is and then I remember that I’m supposed to be typing the Subrosa review for the next Death By Salt release that SLUG is doing. Shit. I totally didn’t want to interview anyone or anything for the next Death By Salt, and I told the Associate Editor, Erik Lopez, at SLUG that I had sworn off of interviews forever. How I got suckered into this interview, I’ll never know.
Anyway, while riding my ex-girlfriend’s bicycle last night, I happened to run into one of the female members of Subrosa, Rebecca V. And I happened to have a legal pad, bic pen, and steel trap memory with me so what-the-fuck-ever, I guess I’ll do a fucking interview.
I asked Rebecca why she wanted me to do the Subrosa interview even after I said that I totally didn’t want to do it and that I wanted to stay home and watch Cops. Plus, I had never even heard her band. She said that she thought it would be interesting to have someone who is not so serious interview her band. Great. So no one takes me serious? I’m as serious as a heart attack these days bitches! Got it?
And since the rest of the band wasn’t present during the interview, I asked Rebecca if she would like to take advantage of this opportunity to talk shit on the rest of her band. She asked me if it would get in the interview and I said yes. She said that she’d better not, so then I asked her if she wanted to. She said, “Not Really.”
Then I was curious to know who in the band was the worst to tour with? Rebecca said that it was Sara, because she takes forever to get ready in the morning. Rebecca also wanted to make it clear that she loves Sara despite this fact. At this point in the interview I’m starting to wonder how the lack of band drama is affecting the creative process of being in a band in the first place.
I then asked Rebecca if she would like to join Scott Stap’s fan club (the lead singer for the awesome band Creed) that my friend started. When she said no, because he was tainted with Creed, I was wondering why Rebecca was being so judgmental. And since I had never heard her band before, I kept telling her how a bunch of people I knew had told me that Subrossa sounds like Creed. To this Rebecca responded, “You asshole.” Just for the record, Scott Stap isn’t even in Creed anymore; he has a solo project that is fabulous.
The next question I asked Rebecca was who would she rather see get raped, Hillary Clinton or Helen Keller? Tough one. When Rebecca said, “See them?” I said, “Ok, hear about it.” And Rebecca told me that although she likes Hillary’s Health Care reform plan, Hillary could probably handle that shit a little better than Helen Keller. (Side note: I personally think that Helen Keller probably gave the best hand jobs in history. Think about it.)
Obviously, I don’t know that much about Subrosa. I do know that they are a band full of girls. If there is one thing that I know about girls it is that they get periods and when girls are confined in close quarters with each other, the menstrual flow synchronizes. Rebecca and me talked about this for a good twenty minutes. I wanted to know if Subrosa played on their periods if they played better? The answer to that is not really.
At this point in my interaction with Subrossa I was out of questions. Rebecca decided to burn me a CD so that I could listen to it and give more proper review. It turns out that Subrosa doesn’t sound too much like Creed and that I am an asshole. They reminded me of The Melvins if King Buzzo had a big gaping vagina that never stopped menstruating beautiful dark melodies. I hate comparing bands to other bands, but I do like The Melvins so Subrosa should be flattered. –Mike Brown